He Will Always Be GRANDPA

First off, I want you all to know that I love you. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Brie, Maggie, Jakey, Abby, Aubsy, Bugs, I love you. I love you more than simple words on a keyboard can express. 

As my little trio was driving to the library this morning we were listening to my flash drive and a song came on that I have heard many times. But today it struck me differently. The chorus seemed to, as Joseph Smith said, "enter with great force into every feeling of my heart." So I thought I would share it with all of you. The song is referencing the Savior, and I feel as if this week, these few sentences describe in perfect detail how I have felt: 

"When my strength is weak, I can feel you carry me

In the darkness left for blind, I can feel your hand in mine

And your whisper heals my soul

And I plead with all I know

Don't let go

Don't let go

Don't let go." 

I think one of the hardest trials that we face in this mortal life is physical death. And the world's view on what comes after varies so widely. But I am so grateful to know that I have been given the truth. I know what Heavenly Father's plan is and I know what really happens after we die. I got the news on Wednesday morning that Grandpa passed away. President Gardner, one of the most incredible men I have ever met in my life, drove to Lincoln to meet with me and tell me in person. I cried for a really long time...I am still crying...but it's not an empty cry. It's a cry full of mourning, and grieving yes, but it's also a cry full of hope and of gratitude because I know the plan! And I know this is not the end. I think the hardest thing is that I can't be there with all of you. But I know that I am where I am needed and that Heavenly Father knows His children. I know that the Savior is with all of you and that you are all under his care. When we are weak he carries us, when we are blind he leads us, when we are broken he heals us, and he will NEVER let go. I have been pleading this week for open eyes and an open heart, to see and feel Grandpa here with me.  And those prayers have been answered. I wanted to share just a few experiences that I have had, because I want you all to know that he  is still with us. That he is watching over us. My prayer is that your eyes and your hearts will also be opened to seeing and feeling Grandpa with you, because I know he is there. 

We are teaching this man from South Sudan and his name is Thomas. We found him last week and it turns out he is a former investigator and was almost baptized. We have seen him every day this week and he is preparing to be baptized on the 7th of October. During one of our visits Thomas seemed particularly distressed and we asked him what was wrong. He told us that that very day his aunt had passed away from cancer. My heart ached as I watched this grown man weep, and I marveled to myself about how incredible Heavenly Father's timing truly is. I showed Thomas a picture of our family and bore my testimony about how families can be together forever through Jesus Christ. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about how grateful I truly am for this knowledge. After I was finished Thomas' eyes met mine and I smiled. He looked at me quizzically and said, "You must know that this is true...4 days since he passed and you are smiling...you have the truth." And he is right! We do have the truth! I felt as if Grandpa was with me in that moment, reminding me of what I know, and helping me to see this man through Heavenly Father's eyes. 

Another experience I had this week has to do with our recent convert Cheyenne. We were able to have dinner with her in a member's home on Friday and we taught about eternal marriage. The couple we ate with bore the most powerful testimony about preparing for eternal marriage and the blessings that come from it. After they finished the spirit was strong and I felt prompted to share about Grandpa. I was able to talk about how Grandma and Grandpa were sealed in the temple  and that because they were sealed by the power and authority of God their marriage was never going to end, even though he has passed on. Again my eyes filled with tears as I felt Grandpa there with me. I am so grateful for temples and grateful to know that families are FOREVER. The sealing power is real, and NOTHING can break that bond. Cheyenne was overcome as we spoke and just filled with light. She comes from a hard family situation, and wants so badly for her family to be different. I know that through the Gospel of Jesus Christ she can have an eternal family, just like ours. 

There have been so many other instances this week where I have had my eyes and heart opened to see Grandpa. I know without a doubt that he is with me, and with all of us. He truly is our BIGGEST fan! He is cheering us on even louder than he's cheering for his UTES! And that's a big deal.

I have taken so much comfort in the scriptures this week, and there is one in particular that I have been eager to share with my people. It's found in Mosiah 16:7-9 and it reads, 

"And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting there could have been no resurrection. But there is a resurrection, therefore the grace hath NO victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ. He is the life and the light of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened,; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death." 

Because of Jesus Christ we have no need to fear. He has overcome this, and I testify that we WILL be with Grandpa again. He will be the same Grandpa that we all know and love, and I cannot wait for that day. 

I love you all and I know that the Savior is with you. Don't let go. 

xoxo, 

Sister Bengtzen